When I was blogging regularly, playing music – and working on a book?? I LOVE that story! ;-}
Life. Sometimes it just gets in the way…
ANYway – Here’s to a new and improved assault on the chaos. Viva la revolucion!
It was strange to become so removed from what has always been such a huge part of my life. Granted, the idea to write a novel is relatively recent in the grand scheme of my years, but writing in general and performing musically have always been at the forefront of my days. And while much of this disconnect from writing and music came out of a necessary accommodation for the day job and daily commute, part of it was also self-imposed. (if I’m being honest with myself)
Do I regret the lost time? Do I feel I could’ve better managed my time? Do I feel justified? Do I ever think I’ll accept Miracle Whip as a legitimate sandwich ingredient? Yes and no – on all counts. (Except for the Miracle Whip. A definite and resounding NO.)
Bottom line: Even though it was largely necessary to dial back my non-day job commitments, it was also nice to take a break from where I was at that point in my life. Looking back, I think I really needed to step back from the person I was – from the direction I was taking – and reevaluate the aspects of myself and my creativity that were truly important to me. Truly indispensible…
And well, that seems to be where I now find myself. Hooray for ME! (A quote from my young, step-nephew, Kayden which I’ve now stolen for my own.) I feel like I’ve come around to wanting to be an artist again – to feeling like an artist again. And most importantly, knowing what I need to do to foster those realizations. I feel I’ve finally come to understand what is important to me as an artist – and what’s not. I think I lost my true voice for a while and allowed myself to over-compromise my artistic vision. Do I think compromise is an important ingredient in art? Absolutely. Some of my favorite artistic moments have been born as a result of compromise and collaboration. However, I believe there’s a time to stick to your vision and see it through to fruition. If you believe in an idea strongly enough, it seems a tragedy to not bring it to life. You’re the only one with that particular take on things, after all. Anyhoooo – I got a bit lazy about following that path.
A friend who is aware of my writing project and the fact that it had somewhat stalled, said something one day that quite struck me. I had mentioned I was about halfway through my book and hadn’t been writing for a while. He then commented that the characters in my book were probably pretty sad – and maybe a little freaked out. They were all just hanging out in the aether of my story – with nowhere really to go. Not until I finished their story.
That really got to me! It was my story, but it wasn’t just about me. Here were all of these characters that I’d created, nurtured and believed in, but I’d abandoned them. And I was the only one who could tell their unique story – the only one who could take them where they needed to go. Like I’m the mom driving my kids to school – or the mall – or soccer practice. I’m the one with the keys and the car and they’re way too young to drive… I’m responsible for taking them where they need to go.
And with all of that babbling said, that’s what I’m going to try and do. I’m grabbing the keys, I’m getting in the car and I’m taking the kidz wherever they need to go. I said, let’s go – GET IN THE CAR!
I’ve also had the pleasure of meeting several inspiring writers of late – and making new friends. Please be sure to check them out!
Kesina Anske: http://www.kseniaanske.com
Giannina Silverman: http://twitter.com/GG_Silverman
Jessi Gage: http://jessigage.com
Pam Beason: http://pamelabeason.com
Alrighty – guess that’s it for now. Until next time… Which won’t be sometime in 2014. I’m thinking July, 2013 at the latest…